In one of my worst Church nightmares, the Ascension never happened! Just think about it – instead of going to be with the Father, the risen Jesus Christ sets up an office in Jerusalem, from which he is going to head up his Church, and be available to the faithful of all times, all places! Let’s just fantasize a bit, and see how that might have worked out by today, in the Year of Our Lord 2018.
A fantasy for two voices, Preacher (P), and Voice over Sound System (V)
P reaches under pulpit, and brings out a telephone book, starts leafing through it, muttering
P: Time to pray for some of the good folks at St. Andrew’s; ah yes, here’s the 1-800 number for Anglican Prayer through Jesus-Canada.
Dials on phone.
V: Welcome to Anglican Prayer through Jesus-Canada – Bienvenue à la prière anglicane à travers Jésus du Canada: For service in English, please press or say “One”; pour le service en français, s’il vous plaît appuyez sur numero “2” ou dites “deux”.
P: One
V: Thank you for calling Anglican Prayer to Jesus-Canada, a Division of Son of God (Jerusalem) Incorporated, an agency of Holy Trinity Limited Liability Partnership. Your call may be monitored for quality assurance.
Please listen carefully, as our menu option have recently changed. At any time you may press “*” or say “Repeat”, or press “#” or say “Go Back” to return to the previous menu.
For Prayers of Thanksgiving, please press “1” or say “One”.
For Prayer of Praise, please press “2” or say “Two”.
For Prayers of Lament, please press “3” or say “Three”.
For Prayer of Intercession, please press “4” or say “Four”
For all other prayer, or if you are not sure of your type of prayer, please press “0” or say “Help” to speak to an Agent.
P: Four!
V: You have chosen to make Intercessory Prayer, if this is correct press “1” or say “Yes”, or press “#” or say “Go Back” to return to the previous menu.
P: One, no, Yes
V: We’re sorry, we could not recognize your response. You have chosen to make Intercessory Prayer, if this is correct press “1” or say “Yes”, or press “#” or say “Go Back” to return to the previous menu.
P: YES! (With some heat)
V: Please listen carefully, as we have recently added some menu choices.
For prayer about World hunger, famines, and epidemics, please press or say “One”.
For prayer regarding natural disasters, such as earth quakes, floods, erupting volcanoes, or severe storms, please press or say “Two”.
For prayer regarding political concerns, such as upcoming elections, please press or say “Three”.
For prayers of confession and requests for forgiveness, please press or say “Four”.
For prayer in regard to specific human persons, please press or say “Five”.
P: Five
v: For prayer for yourself, please press or say “One”.
For prayer for others, please press or say “Two”.
P: Two.
V: You have chosen to pray for others. For prayer for one specific person, please press or say “One”.
For prayers for more than one person, please press or say “Two”.
P: Two.
V: Due to unforseen technical difficulties our automated attendant is currently unable to service prayer for more than one person. Our skilled technicians are working to resolve this issue, but we are unable to specify a time of completion. You may hang up now and call again later, or stay on the line to be placed in sequence for one of our prayer agents.
A pause of a few seconds.
We are experiencing an unusually high volume of prayer requests, and all our prayer agents are busy meeting the needs of other persons of prayer. Your call has been placed in priority sequence. Based on current call statistics your call will be answered in (Pause)Three (Pause) Seven (Pause) Minutes. Please stay on the line for the next available prayer agent, your call is important to us!
Organ and choir starts,
What a friend we have in Jesus/All our sins and griefs to bear/And what a privilege to carry/Everything to God in prayer.
P: Oh, to hell with it!
V: We’re sorry, that service is not available at Anglican Prayer through Jesus-Canada, a Division of Son of God (Jerusalem) Incorporated, an agency of Holy Trinity Limited Liability Partnership.
Please consult your telephone directory for the number of Satan, Father of Lies, and Company, who may be able to help you.
Let’s look at the Ascension with that in mind. Jesus left this earth, where his presence was a matter of fact, to be with God, where his presence is a matter of faith. Jesus of Nazareth was a fact of history. A few people saw him with physical eyes; a few people heard him with physical ears. But as a fact of history, Jesus of Nazareth was present only with those who could actually see or hear or touch him. Even in his own time, the physical Jesus would have been unknown to essentially the entire population of the planet. As a physical person, Jesus of Nazareth could only be absent from almost everyone alive in his time. And he could only be absent from almost everyone alive today, had he remained on this earth.
But at the Ascension, Jesus of Nazareth moves from being a fact of history to being the Christ of faith. And, as the Christ of faith, Jesus can be present to all the faithful, always and everywhere, no call centres needed. So the Ascension is a story, not about Jesus being taken away from us, but about Jesus being given to us for all times and all places.
In fact, Jesus was present with a few people in the first century. In faith Christ is present with each one of us all the time and in every place. You can feel his presence right now! He is sitting with us here, closer to us than we are to each other. We have only to reach out, to touch him. When we are most alone, Jesus is most with us. When we feel most lost, Jesus can find us. When we feel most powerless, Jesus can strengthen us.
In fact, a few people heard Jesus say that he did not condemn them, but rather forgave them. In faith, all of us can confess our failures and shortcomings to Christ, and hear him tell us that we are not condemned, but forgiven.
In fact, Jesus told a few people to fear not, that he would be with them, and guide them. In faith, Christ can overcome all our fears. In faith, Christ can show all of us the way. In faith, he says to all of us, “Follow me, I am the way, trust in me, I will not abandon you!”
In fact, Jesus broke bread and shared wine with a few people in an Upper Room. In faith, Christ feeds all of us, and millions the world over, with his own body and blood. Only by Jesus being absent from this world, can Christ become present in faith in the bread and wine of the Holy Eucharist.
The Ascension then is not a commemoration of Jesus going away. Tonight is not about regretting or missing someone absent. The Ascension is about Christ being present to and seen and heard by all who believe in him in faith, in all times and in all places. Tonight, we do not regret the going away of Jesus, tonight we celebrate the presence of Christ in the world. We are not here to hold a memorial service for someone who is absent, nor are we here to reflect upon the vacuum created by his exit. No, we are here to have a party, in honour of the crucified, risen, and ascended Christ who is with us until the end of the age.
Our call IS important to Jesus Christ, from anywhere, at any time, about anything. No waiting for the next available agent!
Copyright ©2018 by Gerry Mueller.